But Friend cannot help but worry, “Is the father I wanted the father they want, too? Or is the father I got the father I’ve inevitably become?” Mostly engaging, the narrative at times seems self-serving despite the author’s efforts at candor.Ī former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.ĭiscovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. His twins-wise, witty, and precociously articulate-feature in many anecdotes. Fatherhood is a major cause of anxiety, as well. Friend fears emulating his father even though he hopes that years of therapy enabled him to “become exquisitely sensitive and self-aware, and surpass him.” Certainly he surpassed his father in betrayal: A yearslong “litany of infidelities” threatened his marriage. “Starved of affection,” his father had written, “I grew hungry for honor.” An award-winning historian who had served as president of Swarthmore College, he never achieved the fame he sought in the public arena, and though he loved his wife, he craved passion. Then he stopped.” The man who emerged from these pieces was “curious, generous, errant, sensitive, bighearted.” He admitted to several affairs and was tormented by unfulfilled ambition. But fitting your family together begins as a jigsaw puzzle and becomes an anxiety dream.” Complicating the puzzle was his discovery, after his father’s death in 2019, of a trove of letters, journals, ruminations, and verses, including a file titled “Annals of Carnality 1948-58,” which revealed someone far different from the emotionally distant father who, Friend writes, “hugged me until I was about seven. “You’d think that by now,” he writes, “after years of observation, I’d have a fix on my closest relatives. I found that copying the email into a Word document and saving in an aptly named folder works for me.Now in his mid-50s, “sliding down the neck of the hourglass,” veteran New Yorker staff writer Friend updates his memoir Cheerful Money by once again examining his childhood and young adulthood, education and aspirations, and reflecting, in intimate detail, on his marriage to food writer Amanda Hesser and parenthood to twins. This time allows me the opportunity to get any information I need from my emails out of the email client and into another electronic format. To combat this, I set aside time each week to archive. My workplace does not allow email being used for official file storage. We recently changed from using Lotus Notes to Google mail, a totally different look with more restrictions. You can also label or tag emails but that may not help in all situations. Creating a subject line that makes sense to you is especially helpful because you may not remember the name of the person who sent you the email. If it is a short email, I will put the whole message in the subject line.įor those emails that are not clear in the subject line, you can either forward them to yourself with a clear subject line for sorting/storing purposes or you can open the email and rename it (depending upon your email program). To help organize myself, I use the subject line to provide a quick view of what the email is about. Searching through emails for dates and subjects can use a lot of valuable time during the workday. Everyone at work gets tons of email and it can become unmanageable to sort and find something specific. Clear communication in emails is not only helpful in the workplace, it is essential.
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